Comments on: Why Can’t I Get A Second Date? http://datedaily.com/dating/dating-experts/21-why-cant-get-second-dates/ Dating advice and dating news Mon, 22 Mar 2010 03:06:54 +0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9-rare hourly 1 By: Annette http://datedaily.com/dating/dating-experts/21-why-cant-get-second-dates/comment-page-1/#comment-1224 Annette Mon, 21 Dec 2009 02:27:35 +0000 http://datedaily.com/?p=5364#comment-1224 I think it's significant that some of the women offer to pay. When I was single and dated a fair amount, I would sometimes offer (or almost insist) on paying for my meal on a first date when I felt certain that we would be only be friends, when I felt certain that I would not accept another date with him. I think I just felt like I didn't want him to spend money on my dinner or whatever, and maybe I didn't want to feel obligated to him. When I would offer to pay my share on a first date, I had pretty much made up my mind we would never be more than friends. So maybe that's where some of these ladies are coming from. When I liked a guy and felt like a relationship was possible, I felt very comfortable letting him pay for dates, and me just offering to leave the tip, etc. I viewed first dates pretty open mindedly; I accepted most all invitations and didn't pre-judge the guy or the situation. First dates for me were opportunities to get to know someone, have a good time doing something; and some morphed into friendships and a treasured few developed into romantic relationships. I rarely went out a second time with a guy who seemed to have set ideas about a future relationship before we had a chance to get to know one another. I think it’s significant that some of the women offer to pay. When I was single and dated a fair amount, I would sometimes offer (or almost insist) on paying for my meal on a first date when I felt certain that we would be only be friends, when I felt certain that I would not accept another date with him. I think I just felt like I didn’t want him to spend money on my dinner or whatever, and maybe I didn’t want to feel obligated to him. When I would offer to pay my share on a first date, I had pretty much made up my mind we would never be more than friends. So maybe that’s where some of these ladies are coming from.

When I liked a guy and felt like a relationship was possible, I felt very comfortable letting him pay for dates, and me just offering to leave the tip, etc.

I viewed first dates pretty open mindedly; I accepted most all invitations and didn’t pre-judge the guy or the situation. First dates for me were opportunities to get to know someone, have a good time doing something; and some morphed into friendships and a treasured few developed into romantic relationships.

I rarely went out a second time with a guy who seemed to have set ideas about a future relationship before we had a chance to get to know one another.

]]> By: Tiffany http://datedaily.com/dating/dating-experts/21-why-cant-get-second-dates/comment-page-1/#comment-1049 Tiffany Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:50:06 +0000 http://datedaily.com/?p=5364#comment-1049 It's interesting that you question how the reader "doesn't know this" about a man paying for the first date "period" when in fact there is significant disagreement on this issue. It's a tough guessing game for men, as I have as many female friends who are offended when a man insists on paying (or assumes that he'll be paying) as I do female friends who expect him to pay. A man can go badly wrong (wrong enough to ensure that there is no second date) no matter which way he goes with this one, depending on the woman's view. It’s interesting that you question how the reader “doesn’t know this” about a man paying for the first date “period” when in fact there is significant disagreement on this issue. It’s a tough guessing game for men, as I have as many female friends who are offended when a man insists on paying (or assumes that he’ll be paying) as I do female friends who expect him to pay. A man can go badly wrong (wrong enough to ensure that there is no second date) no matter which way he goes with this one, depending on the woman’s view.

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